Updated 27 Jan 2016:
I am becoming a regular at Isaan weddings, not my own I hasten to add, so I thought I would point you to a few other posts that might be helpful if weddings, marriage or living with a Thai lady are of interest:
I thought we’d have a break from stories about Australia, after all you guys live there, and get back to a writing a Thai post. Not to say Botany Bay Part 3 might not still happen, just not right now.
I have been a little reluctant in publishing this topic because it is more in the area of my personal life, which is outside the scope of this blog. However it was also an event that gives some wonderful insights into the life of this farang in Thailand, was very unique and a super fun time so I will give it a go. It’s a long entry so set aside some time to enjoy – I hope.
For those of you that don’t know, and that’s mostly everyone outside my immediate family, Gaun and I decided to get married Isaan style earlier this year. Many of you will know that this is a pretty regular event with me and not one I was that keen on replicating when coming to Thailand. Never say never and it became quite clear to me that Gaun had become very central to my life and the best thing to come out of the shambles I left behind when coming here last year. I felt the time had come to formalise the connection and the best way of doing this was by asking Gaun to marry me and, if she accepted!, having a Thai wedding. The ceremony would be a strong public statement to the strength of the relationship for Gaun’s family and Moo Baan community, and the two are strongly interlinked here, and was also obviously a very personal commitment between Gaun and myself.
It has been a time full of change and surprises. This lady has been the biggest surprise of all.
Gaun was kind enough to accept my proposal, which I put down to a momentary loss of common sense due to the heat, and we decided on the 14th of February as the wedding day. Now those of you who are Valentine Day devotees, or have that role thrust upon you, will know that 14th of February was D Day this year. Just to let you know that the 14th wasn’t chosen because of this but because it was the most auspicious day in February as shown on the Buddhist calendar we have hanging on our fridge. It also happened fall during a period when my brother and sister-in-law would be visiting us in Isaan to meet Gaun’s family. Done deal.
My knowledge of how to go about organising a wedding in rural Thailand can be written on something even smaller than a postage stamp – remember them? – but luckily Gaun handed the whole logistics over to Yuan, her lovely younger sister and a small powerhouse in the “can do” department.
Gaun’s younger sister Yuan.
I had let drop the wedding idea to my oldest friend Gaz and his lovely partner Saskia and they immediately wrote back and said that they would fly over from Perth to attend, which put icing on the wedding cake.
Despite Yuan dong the hard yards organising everything as well as run the family farm it seemed appropriate that we turn up a little before the day and appear to look useful, certainly in my case! There was also the outstanding question of the wedding invitations, which had to be produced and distributed around family and the village. For those of you planning on an Isaan wedding this will be the first of many helpful tips I will give during the course of this blog. Can I firstly set the premise for everything that follows in that we wanted this to be a traditional Isaan wedding rather than a suit and tie sort of thing, that is with full make-up and silk clothes and that was just for me!
The formal Thai wedding invitation has as its central theme a photo of the presumably happy couple in full wedding gear. Now in order to achieve this one photo it is obviously necessary to go through the whole process as though you were preparing yourself for the wedding itself! That required us to get to Si Bun Ruang to have the photo and invitations printed and distributed as well as help Yuan in whatever way we could a week before the 14th.
We headed out of Chiang Mai on the 6th of February to drive to Si Bun Ruang in the day, a trip of around nine hours and over 600 km. The large hilltop monk on the way out of Chiang Mai blessed our trip as we left:
Not a subtle monk.
The roadside stalls were in full swing as always selling whatever was in season and in February it was strawberries. We picked up a couple of kilos to take with us for Peng, Gaun’s daughter.
First stop was at the Doi Chaang cafe at Den Chai about two hours South of Chiang Mai and my favourite coffee stop in Thailand so far.
Cafe Doi Chaang.
A welcome cuppa in a very civilised environment. Oh. Is that cake I see as well? Must be for Gaun.
The trip was long but uneventful. The first half was on main roads heading South, most of them fast dual carriageways and then onto small but good quality back-roads for the rest of the way. Thailand is always full of interesting and surprising sights.
A elephant and horses made from individual pieces of timber. The elephant had been sold to a German for $5,000 and he was shipping it back home.
This one was also worth a photo. Replacing an electricity meter-box on a pole in the middle of a pond isn’t something you see too often in Australia. Our sparkies are such wimps.
Positions to Become Vacant Shortly – two electricians wanted.
After some hilly scenery and windy roads you know that it’s only another hour or so to go when you come onto the plains and pass these spectacular outcrops jutting out of the farmland.
Dry season when this photo was taken so an Aussie brown. Rich greens in the wet season.
We arrived in Si Bun Ruang at about 5 pm and after booking into the resort we headed downtown to arrange a photo shot for the next day. On the edge of the local markets we came across a bridal shop owned by a farang, one of the few foreigners in town and his Thai wife. Arrangements were made for the next day including the hire of a Thai wedding suit for me and a full make-up for Gaun. We decided to buy the wedding dress rather than rent as it would also get an outing at an Australian wedding we had been invited to as part of our visit there later that month.
The next day had us back in the shop being outfitted for the photo shoot:
Gaun’s transformation happening. A rather male ladyboy in charge.
The traditional Thai wedding array for women is extremely “formal” – almost Japanese or Chinese in flavour. Very stylised in dress and make-up, the latter being thickly applied combined with a big hair look. As always us guys get the boring clothes and just a light touch of lipstick. The result quite stunning, and I’m talking here about Gaun! I bet you would never recognise her in this photo although you can probably place the handsome young bloke on the left.
This is the photo we chose to go on the wedding invitation. Mission accomplished.
The wedding invitation photos were taken at our resort a few km out of town. It has been set up for wedding events and photos pre or post-wedding and you can hire the place including a golf buggy to take you round for the princely sum of $18.00.
Almost regal in appearance and Gaun looks OK too!
A large photo is displayed at the entrance to the wedding ceremony itself, possibly to avoid confusion with any other weddings happening that day! This is the one we chose for that.
The wedding arrangements were being handled by an unofficial committee of family, friends and neighbours. I am slightly ashamed to report that I contributed some money and that was pretty much the extent of my involvement except turning up on the day. The strong family and community aspect of Isaan village life was on display and it is this unasked generosity that makes my times here so delightful and rewarding.
A wedding committee meeting I came across including Boong the family dog. The guy is Tham, married to Gaun’s older sister, a great bloke.
Left to right, Gaun, a neighbour from across the road, the daughter of the brother of the next lady who is called called Baan and owns the land next to ours in the village. Gaun’s mama, Puck, a niece, who was the scribe for this meeting and Yuan, Gaun’s sister in the doorway.
Planning moved onto physical activity as the day drew nearer. The wedding reception meal for 100 people was organised through caterers and a space cleared at the side of Gaun’s mama’s house to set up the marquee, tables and chairs.
This area has since been concreted and a new family outside kitchen built. Old concrete rainwater tanks on the right. Yuan and Lud’s small house at the back, which they never use as they sleep at the farm. This is currently being rebuilt. Update photos when I visit next.
The end result.
All the cooking and eating supplies, many of the chairs and tables and things like fans were supplied, you guessed it, by the local temple! We popped down to see the monk and then collected everything we needed for 100 people from their storeroom. This is all stuff that has been donated over time by the village for use in various Buddhist ceremonies where a party is involved, and that’s as often as possible. The equipment is then available to be borrowed – no charge. Community principles in action again. I had actually made a donation to the temple previous with some money I had found in the street plus some of mine so I felt that I was in Buddha’s good books and this was his payback 🙂
The temple party storeroom.
Now THAT’S what I call a mortar and pestle. Lud – the family clown, a great bloke and Yuan’s husband – me, Gaun and Yuan.
The monk keeping an eye on things.
Loaded up on Lud’s ute. Appen is the only new face on the far left. She is a niece who came down from Bangkok to help out. She ended up taking care of all the finances writing every expense in an excise book down to the last baht.
On the dashboard of Lud’s ute. An Aussie reminder. Gaun was to meet a real one of these in the not too distant future.
Collecting the most important ingredient. That’s not all for me BTW. Puck, Yuan and Gaun.
One of the few things on my list was to drive to Udon Thani airport to pick up my friends Gaz and Saskia on the 11th, who had flown in from Perth via Bangkok, to join us for the wedding. It was very special to have them with us for this celebration.
Saskia and Gaz arriving at Udon.
Luckily Udon is only an hour down the road because the next day I was making the same trip to pick up Richard and Sam, my brother and sister-in-law. They had arrived in Phuket a week earlier and had then flown up to Udon and would be staying with us in Chiang Mai for nine days before we all flew back to Australia – See Bound for Botany Bay Part 1 and 2.
With all the wedding party all together, including two nephews for my best men and Peng and a friend for Gaun, it was time to get our clothes organised. We ended up going to another wedding shop on the main street, which was better presented and organised than the one we used for the wedding invitation photos. It was a good choice. Run by a rather attractive and very business-like ladyboy the outfits and centrepiece flower decoration display were chosen with no problems. Everyone wanted to go the full Isaan wedding dress, which would make for some great photos and impress the villagers no end. At at cost of $33.00 for clothes hire, full make-up and hair per person it was the bargain of the century.
Gaun with Peng, her daughter, trying on her bridesmaid dress.
Dressed up but no make-up.
Serious.
Not really.
I have to say that the outcome was pretty spectacular. Everyone had a great time in the process and looked just fantastic. I also had to capture this wedding photo I spotted displayed in the shop:
A Thai Elvis wedding?
Coming back to the family compound we came across these old ladies of the village working out the front of mama’s house. They were making special wedding decorations and bananas in coconut leaves desserts with the help of food, of course, and a little liquid refreshment. I knew nothing of this and it was another example of the wedding committee at work and the way everyone was involved in preparing for the event.
No retirement villages for these ladies. Still important, respected and involved.
The old lady centre front was nominated to represent my mother at the wedding. She was a lovely character and I know my mum would have been happy with the selection.
Hand making desserts. Bananas slices and sugar wrapped in coconut leaves and steamed.
More results from the amazingly smooth running organisation were showing up all the time. I say “smooth running” but there were moments when Yuan, Gaun’s younger sister and the unofficial chairperson of the committee, was looking a bit stressed.
Why buy? This is the frame for the wedding photo I mentioned earlier in this post made out of local supplies. Were you paying attention. If not go back! Yuan on left and neighbours. The lady in pink is Jan, who I bought the land from and the lady on the far right Baan, her sister who is also our neighbour, or will be when we build.
Job well done. Yuan with flowers. Yuan and Lud donated an entrance-way of flowers, which was a big expense for them as it was Valentine’s Day and all flowers were in high demand and costly as a result.
The internal flower display of “not really” flowers in mama’s house, where the wedding ceremony was to take place. Sisters face off.
Kids are never left out of things here. They are involved in most activities and can be seen up and about late into the evenings if their parents are around and often even if not. Many children are being looked after by relatives as their parents are working elsewhere or overseas – wherever the money is. No “dead” suburban Canberra streets here. Always something happening.
A group of local kids picking teams for a non-virtual game. I can remember that from my childhood. Still alive and well over here. Streets are used for playing without supervision. They seem to survive without too much trauma!
The main informal eating area set up in the family compound. The marquees are hired from the Moo Baan – village – supplied, erected and taken away for $18.00. Everything else from the temple.
Those are serious sub woofers Geoff if you are reading. The sound system being set up. $25.00 including a DJ for two days. Broke windows two blocks away. I am still relying on sign language to communicate.
Appen off to deliver food to the local monk – the guy who lent us the catering supplies. The temple and monks are totally incorporated into village life and never forgotten. Food is shared especially in the case of an event such as this.
The locals were keen to get photos with the farang. Sam, my lovely sister-in-law here.
So with the day ending on the eve of the BIG day it was definitely time to party. The sound system was cranked up and a good group of locals mixed with us farang with heaps of home cooked Thai food, miraculously produced on one gas wok burner and a small wood fire, and grog.
I never had to pour a beer the time I was there. This is Lud doing the honours very seriously. Note ice with beer an idea I have taken to. Keeps it cool and you get a balanced water intake as well! Saskia on the far left no doubt waiting her turn.
Party time. Very informal and friendly. All ages.
Most of the wedding “committee” plus us hangers on. I look like a bloody public servant here or an accountant.
Richard teaching the kids the Macarena dance, something that will be passed down through the generations I am sure. Richard now has the title “The Teacher” in the village. The kids will be looking forward to his return so they can learn the Nutbush.
It was Puck’s 18th birthday and the Thais and us do a pin the money for the occasion.
It ended up being a great night although the locals were a bit puzzled with the Macarena dance thing. They probably put it down to some farang wedding ritual and for many Aussie weddings that plus the Nutbush are pretty well guaranteed to come up at some stage in evening for us baby boomers. Plenty of beer, Sang Som – Thai rum – and Thai whisky, which is great for cleaning concrete – even better than coke, was consumed.
So here we go finally the wedding day itself. Now firstly for those of you planning an Isaan wedding let me give you a tip and that is you need to understand what the wedding invitation says and NOT rely on how it is done in Australia. Written in Thai obviously I was pretty confident that I didn’t need to clarify the two times show being 7.30 and 9.09. The latter was the wedding time – nine is an important number in Thailand and 7.30 the evening reception. Not so. All will become clear.
We were all up at 4.00 am so that we could all get our clothes arranged and for the ladies, their hair and make-up done.
Si Bun Ruang main street at 4.00 am. Not much happening apart from us farangs.
Inside the two ladyboys were in full swing organising to fit the dresses and our suits plus girly stuff.
Gaun back into make-up. The ladyboy is working on Peng’s make-up.
The owner of the shop finishing Sam’s make-up and hair. This is one of the few ladyboys I have met who both looked and acted as a woman. A really competent and pleasant person. She had been working on another wedding until 2 that morning and was looking surprising fresh.
For you ladies who have to spend hours at the hairdressers pre-wedding, this is a close-up of Sam’s hair as shown in the photo above, and was prepared in ten minutes. I kid you not.
Saskia being made-up pre-hair arrangement.
Ten minutes later. What do our hairdressers do?
Peng and friend all ready.
The end result. Not too shabby.
A very happy groom. I think the bride is OK too. She didn’t pull out and that’s always a good sign.
All finished we drove back to the village and the significance of the 7.30 now makes itself apparent. Not a 7.30 pm reception but a 7.30 breakfast! All the guests had arrived and the caterers were stocking the tables with a full Thai meal including beef, which is a luxury item here, a whole fish and steamboat and other spicy things. Not a bowl of cornflakes or piece of toast and marmalade in sight. Each table had two bottles of beer and a bottle of Thai whisky. A much better heart starter than coffee.
Continental breakfast it ain’t.
The breakfast in full swing.
The timing all actually makes sense. These are mostly working people who can’t afford to take a day off and therefore everything was timed to involve as many as possible. For many the meal is the “main” wedding event – typically Thai! In local weddings often people will just turn up to collect food, leave a donation towards the cost of the wedding and leave to eat at home.
Everybody involved. There’s nothing like a beer for breakfast.
We had a full turnout because a large farang wedding is a big event not to be missed. The fact we were all going Isaan in presentation had got around and people wanted to come and see us and get photos.
We are stars for the day.
Richard, both a brother and very best mate, and me.
The girls. Sam, Gaun, Peng and Saskia.
“That” picture on the left. Gaun’s mama with Gaun and guests.
Peng. Beautiful like her mum.
My new family. The face at the back is a friend of Peng’s whose job it was to keep her dress out of the dirt 🙂 She pops up surprisingly often in photos.
The ceremony itself started in time to reach the house at 9.09, a time I did get right. There was a gathering at our block of land and we then walked in procession back to the house, which is only a hundred meters away.
I am the only one who gets an umbrella in keeping with my station as an important person.
This was NOT a serious event. The Thais do a yodelling type of call to mark the occasion and we were surrounded by laughing and happy villagers having a good time. It doesn’t take much to get Thais going. They love any opportunity to have a fun or “sanuk”, which is probably why they celebrate our New Year, Chinese New Year and Thai New Year!!! If they could find any other New Years they would happily adopt that too.
A happy group.
We didn’t forget the heart shaped cushion. My best man holding the umbrella and looking rather pensive on the right. He was a non-smiling Thai but is shy evidently. He came down from Bangkok for the event.
The kids think it is all fun too.
My first wedding barrier. A silver chain. I am looking for an envelope with money to give to the ladies to let me through. There is a final gold chain to pass as well.
I get my feet washed by Appen. I am sure I did shower this morning.
Once into the house everyone settles into place and the wedding itself gets underway. There is a “master of ceremonies” who sort of leads the way but it seems to be a group participation thing with people offering suggestions of what happens next along the way. Great fun with lots of chat and laughter.
An Isaan wedding taking place I believe.
A white cord binds us all together. The flower arrangement made by those old ladies.
Thank you to all shown + Gaz. What a great day. The Thai year shown on the poster at the back 2557 – subtract 543 to get our year.
The master of ceremonies. Fetching head gear on Gaun and me too – flowers “really”.
Same as Australia – an exchange of rings made of Thai gold of course.
Yes. We see them.
Towards the end of the ceremony every person involved comes up to the front to tie a white string to the wrist of all the wedding party – right wrist for males and left for females. It is a lovely way to connect with each individual who has attended.
Tying on the wrist strings. You end up with a huge bundle, which is worn for three days. Going around the town afterwards people stop to ask or congratulate you when they see your wrist. My mum’s surrogate here with Gaz.
Yuan, just a wonderful new sister-in-law, giving me money. I like her even more now. Lud in front of her.
People also make a donation, which is placed in that pot in front of me. A good contribution to the cost of the wedding was covered in this way. It all goes round because I will now be invited to weddings in the village and will be expected to contribute in return. It is a sort of mini internal economy. The pot was whisked away at the end and a count done by the senior ladies. I got a piece of paper with a total figure ending with 13 baht! No farang wedding financial horror stories coming out of this family. They have been the most welcoming, supportive and fun group of people you could hope to meet and my guests will support that comment. It is a real privilege to be include in their family group.
Gifts are given to the other members of the wedding party.
Gaz wondering how he’s going to take that back to Perth! He didn’t. Still in Isaan Gaz and Saskia.
My present to Gaun’s mama.
The obligatory end of wedding photos. What a great memory this is for me.
Appen, Peng, Yuan and a friend of Appen who also travelled from Bangkok to be here.
Wedding over we head home to change. On our return everything has been packed up and life has returned to normal. The evening party post-wedding I thought was happening at 7.30, which ended up being breakfast, was the pre-wedding evening party the night before. Never accept you know what’s going on in Thailand, but that’s one of the things I love about being here.
No big event in Isaan would be complete without a pappaya salad complete with a big handful of chillies and that’s how we ended this wonderful day – well not me because I hate pappaya salad……..but for the faithful a small informal gathering with the new husband and wife.
Relaxed and married. Richard turning a chilli red on the left.
Oh those chillies. Seriously hot. Sticky rice in the small basket.
Thank you for joining me on this rather special journey. It was the most memorable time I have experienced in Thailand. Partly this was due obviously to the opportunity to show my love for a very special lady, but also it was a period of living in a world where Thai family and community seem to meld and there seems very little distinction between the two. Us farang were made to feel hugely welcome and involved and that is pretty special.
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Hi Tony, I have been following your blog for some time. I have a question. I am getting married in Buachet, Surin Province on Feb 15. It seems there is a tradition to buy something in gold for my bride and I have seen/heard that it must be PURE gold (eg, 24 carat).
Apart from obvious ridiculous expense, pure gold is very soft and damages easily. My fiance has indicated that she wants a bracelet. Fair enough, but this will damage far more quickly than (say) a necklace. And the weight in itself would be pretty massive.
What is your take on this? Today I priced some 9ct bracelets at my local jeweler in Brisbane and the price for them shocked me, so I can only imagine what a pure gold item would cost. BTW, trying to find pure gold jewelry in Oz is next to impossible as you may well know.
Can you please give me some guidance as I don’t wish to insult my fiance or her family with anything less than what is traditional.
Yes, the expectation is for Thai gold, which is 24 carat and yes, impractically soft for everyday use as a result. I think you might be taking a risk with 9 carat as the giving and wearing of pure gold can be a social statement within the wedding ceremony and maybe best to stick to tradition for this event anyway. I bought Gaun a simple gold ring for the wedding ceremony, which seemed to be acceptable, but have since bought her some ‘going out’ gold jewellery, which she never wears unless for a temple event or something special. Based on my experience with Gaun it doesn’t HAVE to be something that is worn everyday. It depends on the attitude of your partner. Gaun works in the garden most days (which is where she is as I type this response) and nails, makeup and gold just don’t feature much in her life. I have also bought Gaun a 18 carat gold and diamond ring since the wedding and she loves that and tells me it is much more sensible than the Thai gold. However, I still think I did right with a Thai gold gift for the day itself.
Gold is sold by weight plus a small additional charge for the making it into a necklace etc. This link HERE will give you the current gold baht price (same name as the currency) 1 baht being 14.71 grams. As the local designs will be more acceptable in a Thai person’s eyes maybe it would be better to purchase here if you have the time before the wedding. Every small town has at least a couple of gold shops and every shopping mall has at least one too. You buy by baht weight – so there will be selections in the shop lined up from 1 – maybe 5 baht. Find today’s gold price, multiply by the baht weight and add the jewellery cost
BTW one of the reasons pure gold is so accepted here is that you can trade it back in anytime at a gold shop. You will lose out on the cost for making the piece of jewellery but get most of the rest of the purchase price back. It’s sort of a emergency bank account you can wear 🙂
More information than you wanted to know but the rings we have from the wedding have got a bit battered because of their softness over the years. I haven’t found anywhere that will ‘repair’ them. What Thais do evidently is swap new for old at a cost of around 2,000 baht. I have a sentimental attached to mine so battered it will remain!
Enjoy the day. It can be a bit confusing but best to just relax and go with the flow.
If I can help in any other way please let me know.Thai
Tony, thanks so much for your reply. It explains much. But do not Thais understand that pure gold will get damaged very easily? I mean, bang a bracelet on a stone surface or wear it over and over on outside surfaces and the gold gets worn off (besides damaged) so that it can never be worth what it was. Besides, isn’t the item meant to be for life? I would be devastated if my new wife decided to sell her wedding gift for something new.
You can’t buy pure gold jewelry in Australia for the exact reasons you have pointed out. Just to buy a 9ct gold bracelet costs a small fortune. I doubt it would be any cheaper in Thailand as the price of gold is global.
A very difficult thing indeed and I think will need much discussion with my fiance. My problem will be that her sister has a bracelet that at first sight looks like pure gold. Obviously, my wife will want same same, or better.
I guess it depends on how the gold will be used. As I said Gaun only uses it on formal occasions so there’s no chance it getting damaged. If your wife to be is planning on everyday use, especially a bracelet, then there is a lot more chance of damage. The core value is maintained of course as that is determined by weight not the condition of the jewellery. A theoretical discussion of course because we don’t buy these things with resale in mind. I wasn’t suggesting that it would be any cheaper to buy any type of gold in Thailand. I was pointing out that if your fiance was keen in having a bracelet that is more in the local style (designwise not gold content) then buying that item here would be sensible. An Australian bracelet looks nothing like a Thai one that I have seen anyway.
Many thanks for such a great blog. I will be marrying my Thai girlfriend next year, and as most of the other posts say, it’s great to get away from all the negative things Farang’s say on forums etc. Thailand is an amazing country, and Thai’s are amazing….I am so looking forward to spending the rest of my life in Thailand with my lovely future wife.
I am pleased to find another of the many hidden farang who are doing just fine in life with their Thai partners. The blog tends to attract the more positive and successful in Thailand type of readers thank goodness. We have met so many people as a result of the blog who have dropped in to see us to share good stories about their life here. I know that there are unfortunate happenings, as there are anywhere, but the quiet achievers are in the majority I am sure.
Enjoy your wedding (hard not to) and all the very best for your future here.
Hi Tony,
I love the site. Would you be able to tell me where you hired the wedding attire. I am getting married in Chiang Mai in April and trying to scout out places to go.
Thank you for all the great info.
Helen
Hi helen I got married in issan and my wife and I hired our attire from bangkok as it is considerably cheaper and better value. We went for a package and got photos and clothes for 3 days cost us around 12000 baht very happy with the service.
Hi Helen. Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. I hope you have a wonderful day. I was married in Isaan, the Southeastern region of Thailand, so a long way from Chiang Mai. However you will find plenty of wedding shops in Chiang Mai, most of whom would be willing to either sell you an outfit or rent you one for the day. Gaun bought the dress you see her wearing on the blog for 4,000 THB (A$160.00) but that was locally. You may find Chiang Mai to be a little more expensive. Renting an outfit here cost 1,000 THB and included makeup and hair on the day (for Gaun not me!). If you want to get an idea of what’s available go to Kad Suan Kaew shopping mall in CM (Trip Advisor https://www.tripadvisor.com.au/Attraction_Review-g293917-d545072-Reviews-Kad_Suan_Kaew_Shopping_Centre-Chiang_Mai.html) and you will find a number of wedding shops on one of the upper levels from memory. Let me know how you go. Cheers. Tony
Sawadee Ka Tony! My mother is from Ubon Ratchathani and wants me to have an Isaan Wedding vs. the tourist Thai weddings. I’m so happy to find your blog! Your wedding looked really fun and was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your special day and with great detail! -Lava (USA)
Tony in Thailand
on September 25, 2015 at 12:45 pm
Thank you Lava for your comment. We were in Ubon recently for the candle festival and enjoyed our very brief time in the city. We could have spent longer there. My post on that trip is here https://tonyinthailand.com/ubon-ratchathani-candle-festival/.
I had such a good time at our Isaan wedding. It was all so relaxed and spontaneous. I especially enjoyed the community involvement, which made me feel very included. I will be interested to hear which way you will go for your wedding. Whatever that decision is have a lovely and very special day. Warm regards. Tony
Hi Tony, just wanted to say thank you for your wedding blog. I’m marrying a girl from Kalasin next year so it was great to read such a detailed description of what to expect! – your breakdown of costs was also very useful!
Hi Shaun. I am pleased you found the post helpful for your upcoming wedding. You will have the best time of your life. I am sure I don’t need to tell you that people in Isaan love to party hard and have a good time. Just relax into it all and enjoy.
Hi there great blog my fiance and me are planning our wedding this year and this is a great idea of what to expect. So many negative things are said it’s nice to see a positive. Thank you
Hi Stewart. Thanks for the comment. You will both have a memorable time come your turn guaranteed. People are quick to report the negative but I am sure that there are more good than bad things happening in Thailand for us expats. Have a great wedding day and congratulations. A good Thai lady will change your life – anyway it did for me 🙂 Cheers. Tony
Thanks Tony. I have a few questions I would hope you could shed some light on apart from sin sot not a problem. Ruffely what should I expect cost wise no1 seems to have any sensible advise I am thinking 50k-80k for party?
Hi Steward. That is probably the sort of money involved depending on how big you want it. Outside of sin sod these are the other costs we spent from memory:
You will need to send out wedding invitations before the event. Your family will know who to invite. The photo on the invite is of you two as though you are already married in the full Thai gear. You will need to hire this, get makeup done and find a photographer. Once done the invitations will need to be printed for under 10 THB a card and you will need a large framed photo of you both for the entrance of the ceremony.
Wedding rings – They are part of the ceremony as in a western wedding. Gold of course – 25,000 THB for a simple band x 2.
Wedding outfits for yourselves and bridesmaid/grooms 10,000 THB hire, which included the flower arrangements in the room – plastic, and full makeup, hair for the wedding party – not for yourself unless you are into that sort of thing 🙂
The yai or old ladies of the village will gather to make up a central flower arrangement and some rice snacks the day before. They will need feeding and they don’t mind a drink!
The reception is held the afternoon/night before the wedding. My family cooked for a crowd so allow for the cost of buying food plus plenty of beer and whisky. Need to hire a DJ to keep the whole village awake.
A Chinese table – which is a heavy duty cooked catered breakfast early on the wedding day – 7.00 am. We paid 1,200 THB per table. A couple bottles of beer, a bottle of whisky and soft drinks on every table. You will also have to separately provide beef as this is a treat because it is expensive by Thai standards. Maybe around 280 + per kilo. I think the family cooked this up but maybe the caterers will do it.
Money for the guy who will lead the ceremony maybe 500 THB, money for the people who will be holding the silver and gold chains for you to pass through – a few hundred baht in separate envelopes and money for the person who will wash your feet – another envelope.
Presents for the major people at the end of the ceremony. We bought those bed roll packages for probably around 500 THB each. I think we had four of them.
You will get a lot of this money back if you have a good turnout. People will either come just for the breakfast, eat there or take food packages home and leave money in the invitation envelope, which has their name on so you know who gave what. Otherwise some will stay on for the ceremony and will give you money when they come up at the end to tie the white string onto your wrist – right for boys, left wrist for girls. The money will be given to you. Have someone record who gives what as you will be expected to return the same sort of money if you get invited to one of their weddings for kids etc. The committee will take the money away at the end and count it down to the last baht and give it back to you all wrapped up. I paid sin sod at the end of the ceremony to Gaun’s mama.
I hope your lady’s family is on side and helpful because so much falls on them. I wouldn’t have had a clue how to pull it all together without the family committee that did most of the work. Organising a party comes naturally to Thais so just let them get on with it.
I hope that helps. Have yourselves a wonderful time.
Hi Charles. Thank you for your kind comment. We tend to emphasise the negative and the positive isn’t talked about to the same extent. I am very lucky to have a great partner and also a family who couldn’t have been more welcoming and undemanding. We have just come back from a few days in Hong Kong and, although we had a great time, I almost got emotional when I heard Thai being spoken on the plane and saw the rice fields of Chiang Mai as we flew in. For me this is a move that has worked and I feel more settled the longer I live here. Cheers. Tony.
First stop was at the Doi Chaang cafe at Den Chai about two hours South of Chiang Mai and my favourite coffee stop in Thailand so far.
Hi Tony, I have been following your blog for some time. I have a question. I am getting married in Buachet, Surin Province on Feb 15. It seems there is a tradition to buy something in gold for my bride and I have seen/heard that it must be PURE gold (eg, 24 carat).
Apart from obvious ridiculous expense, pure gold is very soft and damages easily. My fiance has indicated that she wants a bracelet. Fair enough, but this will damage far more quickly than (say) a necklace. And the weight in itself would be pretty massive.
What is your take on this? Today I priced some 9ct bracelets at my local jeweler in Brisbane and the price for them shocked me, so I can only imagine what a pure gold item would cost. BTW, trying to find pure gold jewelry in Oz is next to impossible as you may well know.
Can you please give me some guidance as I don’t wish to insult my fiance or her family with anything less than what is traditional.
Many thanks
Mel
Hi Mel.
Congratulations on the upcoming wedding.
Yes, the expectation is for Thai gold, which is 24 carat and yes, impractically soft for everyday use as a result. I think you might be taking a risk with 9 carat as the giving and wearing of pure gold can be a social statement within the wedding ceremony and maybe best to stick to tradition for this event anyway. I bought Gaun a simple gold ring for the wedding ceremony, which seemed to be acceptable, but have since bought her some ‘going out’ gold jewellery, which she never wears unless for a temple event or something special. Based on my experience with Gaun it doesn’t HAVE to be something that is worn everyday. It depends on the attitude of your partner. Gaun works in the garden most days (which is where she is as I type this response) and nails, makeup and gold just don’t feature much in her life. I have also bought Gaun a 18 carat gold and diamond ring since the wedding and she loves that and tells me it is much more sensible than the Thai gold. However, I still think I did right with a Thai gold gift for the day itself.
Gold is sold by weight plus a small additional charge for the making it into a necklace etc. This link HERE will give you the current gold baht price (same name as the currency) 1 baht being 14.71 grams. As the local designs will be more acceptable in a Thai person’s eyes maybe it would be better to purchase here if you have the time before the wedding. Every small town has at least a couple of gold shops and every shopping mall has at least one too. You buy by baht weight – so there will be selections in the shop lined up from 1 – maybe 5 baht. Find today’s gold price, multiply by the baht weight and add the jewellery cost
BTW one of the reasons pure gold is so accepted here is that you can trade it back in anytime at a gold shop. You will lose out on the cost for making the piece of jewellery but get most of the rest of the purchase price back. It’s sort of a emergency bank account you can wear 🙂
More information than you wanted to know but the rings we have from the wedding have got a bit battered because of their softness over the years. I haven’t found anywhere that will ‘repair’ them. What Thais do evidently is swap new for old at a cost of around 2,000 baht. I have a sentimental attached to mine so battered it will remain!
Enjoy the day. It can be a bit confusing but best to just relax and go with the flow.
If I can help in any other way please let me know.Thai
Tony, thanks so much for your reply. It explains much. But do not Thais understand that pure gold will get damaged very easily? I mean, bang a bracelet on a stone surface or wear it over and over on outside surfaces and the gold gets worn off (besides damaged) so that it can never be worth what it was. Besides, isn’t the item meant to be for life? I would be devastated if my new wife decided to sell her wedding gift for something new.
You can’t buy pure gold jewelry in Australia for the exact reasons you have pointed out. Just to buy a 9ct gold bracelet costs a small fortune. I doubt it would be any cheaper in Thailand as the price of gold is global.
A very difficult thing indeed and I think will need much discussion with my fiance. My problem will be that her sister has a bracelet that at first sight looks like pure gold. Obviously, my wife will want same same, or better.
I guess it depends on how the gold will be used. As I said Gaun only uses it on formal occasions so there’s no chance it getting damaged. If your wife to be is planning on everyday use, especially a bracelet, then there is a lot more chance of damage. The core value is maintained of course as that is determined by weight not the condition of the jewellery. A theoretical discussion of course because we don’t buy these things with resale in mind. I wasn’t suggesting that it would be any cheaper to buy any type of gold in Thailand. I was pointing out that if your fiance was keen in having a bracelet that is more in the local style (designwise not gold content) then buying that item here would be sensible. An Australian bracelet looks nothing like a Thai one that I have seen anyway.
Good luck with the negotiations 🙂
Many thanks for such a great blog. I will be marrying my Thai girlfriend next year, and as most of the other posts say, it’s great to get away from all the negative things Farang’s say on forums etc. Thailand is an amazing country, and Thai’s are amazing….I am so looking forward to spending the rest of my life in Thailand with my lovely future wife.
Thanks Howard.
I am pleased to find another of the many hidden farang who are doing just fine in life with their Thai partners. The blog tends to attract the more positive and successful in Thailand type of readers thank goodness. We have met so many people as a result of the blog who have dropped in to see us to share good stories about their life here. I know that there are unfortunate happenings, as there are anywhere, but the quiet achievers are in the majority I am sure.
Enjoy your wedding (hard not to) and all the very best for your future here.
Tony
Hi Tony,
I love the site. Would you be able to tell me where you hired the wedding attire. I am getting married in Chiang Mai in April and trying to scout out places to go.
Thank you for all the great info.
Helen
Hi helen I got married in issan and my wife and I hired our attire from bangkok as it is considerably cheaper and better value. We went for a package and got photos and clothes for 3 days cost us around 12000 baht very happy with the service.
Hi Helen. Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. I hope you have a wonderful day. I was married in Isaan, the Southeastern region of Thailand, so a long way from Chiang Mai. However you will find plenty of wedding shops in Chiang Mai, most of whom would be willing to either sell you an outfit or rent you one for the day. Gaun bought the dress you see her wearing on the blog for 4,000 THB (A$160.00) but that was locally. You may find Chiang Mai to be a little more expensive. Renting an outfit here cost 1,000 THB and included makeup and hair on the day (for Gaun not me!). If you want to get an idea of what’s available go to Kad Suan Kaew shopping mall in CM (Trip Advisor https://www.tripadvisor.com.au/Attraction_Review-g293917-d545072-Reviews-Kad_Suan_Kaew_Shopping_Centre-Chiang_Mai.html) and you will find a number of wedding shops on one of the upper levels from memory. Let me know how you go. Cheers. Tony
Sawadee Ka Tony! My mother is from Ubon Ratchathani and wants me to have an Isaan Wedding vs. the tourist Thai weddings. I’m so happy to find your blog! Your wedding looked really fun and was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your special day and with great detail! -Lava (USA)
Thank you Lava for your comment. We were in Ubon recently for the candle festival and enjoyed our very brief time in the city. We could have spent longer there. My post on that trip is here https://tonyinthailand.com/ubon-ratchathani-candle-festival/.
I had such a good time at our Isaan wedding. It was all so relaxed and spontaneous. I especially enjoyed the community involvement, which made me feel very included. I will be interested to hear which way you will go for your wedding. Whatever that decision is have a lovely and very special day. Warm regards. Tony
Hi Tony, just wanted to say thank you for your wedding blog. I’m marrying a girl from Kalasin next year so it was great to read such a detailed description of what to expect! – your breakdown of costs was also very useful!
Shaun (England)
Hi Shaun. I am pleased you found the post helpful for your upcoming wedding. You will have the best time of your life. I am sure I don’t need to tell you that people in Isaan love to party hard and have a good time. Just relax into it all and enjoy.
All the best to you both. Tony
Hi there great blog my fiance and me are planning our wedding this year and this is a great idea of what to expect. So many negative things are said it’s nice to see a positive. Thank you
Hi Stewart. Thanks for the comment. You will both have a memorable time come your turn guaranteed. People are quick to report the negative but I am sure that there are more good than bad things happening in Thailand for us expats. Have a great wedding day and congratulations. A good Thai lady will change your life – anyway it did for me 🙂 Cheers. Tony
Thanks Tony. I have a few questions I would hope you could shed some light on apart from sin sot not a problem. Ruffely what should I expect cost wise no1 seems to have any sensible advise I am thinking 50k-80k for party?
Hi Steward. That is probably the sort of money involved depending on how big you want it. Outside of sin sod these are the other costs we spent from memory:
You will need to send out wedding invitations before the event. Your family will know who to invite. The photo on the invite is of you two as though you are already married in the full Thai gear. You will need to hire this, get makeup done and find a photographer. Once done the invitations will need to be printed for under 10 THB a card and you will need a large framed photo of you both for the entrance of the ceremony.
Wedding rings – They are part of the ceremony as in a western wedding. Gold of course – 25,000 THB for a simple band x 2.
Wedding outfits for yourselves and bridesmaid/grooms 10,000 THB hire, which included the flower arrangements in the room – plastic, and full makeup, hair for the wedding party – not for yourself unless you are into that sort of thing 🙂
The yai or old ladies of the village will gather to make up a central flower arrangement and some rice snacks the day before. They will need feeding and they don’t mind a drink!
The reception is held the afternoon/night before the wedding. My family cooked for a crowd so allow for the cost of buying food plus plenty of beer and whisky. Need to hire a DJ to keep the whole village awake.
A Chinese table – which is a heavy duty cooked catered breakfast early on the wedding day – 7.00 am. We paid 1,200 THB per table. A couple bottles of beer, a bottle of whisky and soft drinks on every table. You will also have to separately provide beef as this is a treat because it is expensive by Thai standards. Maybe around 280 + per kilo. I think the family cooked this up but maybe the caterers will do it.
Money for the guy who will lead the ceremony maybe 500 THB, money for the people who will be holding the silver and gold chains for you to pass through – a few hundred baht in separate envelopes and money for the person who will wash your feet – another envelope.
Presents for the major people at the end of the ceremony. We bought those bed roll packages for probably around 500 THB each. I think we had four of them.
You will get a lot of this money back if you have a good turnout. People will either come just for the breakfast, eat there or take food packages home and leave money in the invitation envelope, which has their name on so you know who gave what. Otherwise some will stay on for the ceremony and will give you money when they come up at the end to tie the white string onto your wrist – right for boys, left wrist for girls. The money will be given to you. Have someone record who gives what as you will be expected to return the same sort of money if you get invited to one of their weddings for kids etc. The committee will take the money away at the end and count it down to the last baht and give it back to you all wrapped up. I paid sin sod at the end of the ceremony to Gaun’s mama.
I hope your lady’s family is on side and helpful because so much falls on them. I wouldn’t have had a clue how to pull it all together without the family committee that did most of the work. Organising a party comes naturally to Thais so just let them get on with it.
I hope that helps. Have yourselves a wonderful time.
Tony
after reading all the horror stories ,just so good to hear a happy one . congrats to you and your family ,lovely people , lovely country .
Hi Charles. Thank you for your kind comment. We tend to emphasise the negative and the positive isn’t talked about to the same extent. I am very lucky to have a great partner and also a family who couldn’t have been more welcoming and undemanding. We have just come back from a few days in Hong Kong and, although we had a great time, I almost got emotional when I heard Thai being spoken on the plane and saw the rice fields of Chiang Mai as we flew in. For me this is a move that has worked and I feel more settled the longer I live here. Cheers. Tony.