It’s not really a respect for the past sort of heading photo is it! I couldn’t come up with anything better and these children formed a fun part of the morning so let’s respect the past by embracing the joy of the future as represented by these faces.
Today some of my Isaan family visited the local temple in our village of Si Bun Ruang to pay respects to deceased relatives and give them a good feed. I so enjoy these sort of events, which are totally part of the natural everyday life here and don’t involve anyone dressing up for the occasion for the tourist buses (a la northern hill tribes). Someone wrote on my Facebook page that it’s the difference between the reel life (like the movies) that tourists see and the real life I enjoy. I am usually the only farang at these events but have been here long enough that I’m no longer seen as particularly unique or strange (still a little bit odd and always will be) in the landscape!
I think locals are used to me turning up with the camera. I don’t think they have ever seen me without it so it comes as no shock. For those of you who know Thai people you will also know that they are the least shy individuals, which is reflected in their own obsession in taking selfies in every situation imaginable. One farang with a camera doesn’t worry them a bit. As a result I have heaps of wonderful photos that capture a lovely ceremony and an interesting morning. Although the main subject for this post is the ceremony to respect relatives, those of you who are regular reader will know that I will head off topic as my camera has a mind of its own and I just follow along adding words later!

Walking to the wat we were passed by this lady loaded up with banana leaf packages to offer to her family later.

This is Wat Thung Sawang Khongkha, which you can find on Google Maps HERE. It’s a traditional village wat with the monk’s ordination hall at the front and a larger public Buddha shrine and meeting place being constructed at the back.

The formal part of the ceremony was being held inside this old building that used to be the village’s primary (middle) school. You can see the school bell on the right outside the doorway.

It is being replaced by this huge Buddha hall and meeting place. The construction has been happening ever since we got here over three years ago. I believe they have raised enough money to get it mostly finished and workmen are putting the detailing touches to it now.

Inside the floor has been completely re-levelled and these bags are full of small pebbles that will be used to form a patterned pebblecrete floor. The contractor is the same guy who did our pebblecrete driveway.

Food is prepared for the monks to eat once they’re finished the chants involved with this ceremony. The monks don’t eat after noon so this meal has to last them until tomorrow.

Outside the meeting hall the village’s pre-schoolers had walked down with teachers to take part. Kids in pink are 5th year and the ones in blue 6th (as in age).

We sat under the trees as there was limited space inside and it was cooler. Gaun is carrying her food parcels in the basket.

Gaun and her best mate and younger sister Yuan. Both ladies had got dressed up for the occasion in Isaan gear. Very lovely.
While we waited for the official ceremony to get going I went for a wander to see what else was happening.

The bell tower, not that I have seen it being used. It is sort of on the tick list for a standard village temple with money.

An old wasp nest was hanging in one of the outside shrines. Never interfere with these guys – they are the ones with long legs. Super aggressive and protective and give you quite a bite. Amazing architecture revealed by the part of the outside someone has peeled away.
You will come across them usually in statue form everywhere in Thailand. The scene is based on a story relating to Buddha where the elephant offers him water while the monkey a honeycomb. If you want to read the story you can find a version of it HERE.

There is a pond at the back of the temple, which is the home for these two buildings, an unused shrine and a unused sala behind it. Building things is part of Buddhism here but using what has been built is less important. It’s the merit involved gained by those funding it that’s the goal. The final result, unless it attracts more money, is less vital and often slowly falls into disrepair unfortunately.

Maybe used come the beautiful festival of Loi Krathong, which this year will be held on 23rd November. You can read more HERE.

This is me looking as if I have made these krathongs back in 2015 – decorated floating rafts that are released at night into rivers, lakes and ponds for good luck. Gaun is obviously the real creator but I am happy to take any credit that’s going.

Large bees/wasps were building a hive above our heads. A local pointed it out – I see nothing in a typical male way.

Lottery ticket anyone? A national obsession and no place is safe from ticket vendors even a wat. I have seen them come around at a funeral!

This is May, the daughter of one of Gaun’s nieces, Her mum is working with her husband in Chonburi, Bangkok way. I always try to get photos of May when I can to post on her mum’s Facebook page.

It is difficult to take a photo of just one person in Thailand. The keen participants just multiply.

Yet more arrived. We got the whole school! The spontaneity of Thailand is one of the aspects that I so enjoy. How can you stay serious and not get involved with a scene like this.

Duh. Food of course. Schoolkids aged 5 – 12 years old get a free lunch and it was transported to the temple with the children. This lot is actually back for second helpings.

Only three monks. I believe that some temples are finding it hard to get a full quotes of monks. The west is doing a great job of teaching Thais that it is far better to chase a material happiness illusion than look at other non-material paths.
As part of this ceremony there are two bits where the head monk chants and everyone attending pours water from one container to another. The trick is to do it at a speed that you neither run out of water before the chant has finished or you are left with water at the end. It is quite an art 🙂 This time the chant seemed to take forever and Yuan has filled her mug but still has water left in the bottle! What to do? Well lean over and continue to pour so the overflow runs away. Buddhism is a lot more flowing and forgiving than other paths and the rituals involved are pretty relaxed.

After the formal part of the ceremony everyone went to the wall of the wat, where the ashes of people are placed, and food was set out for relatives. Their names are said to call them to lunch. If they aren’t around it is assumed that another spirit will pass the message on! A lovely way to maintain a connection with family members.

Bear, Gaun’s older sister, hanging up packages that will be taken down and given to relatives based at home and at the farm. I guess some of them may not have transportation so would miss out outwise 🙂

Gaun hanging her packages. I love this simple colourful clothes presentation. The sarong and a stylish top.

A food parcel opened up plus chewing tobacco for the yai (grandmothers) and a hand rolled cigarette for the guys. I will publish a story on what goes into these tobacco packs in a separate ‘Living in Isaan’ post soon. Very interesting.

Our house and the family home is only a short distance up the road but Bear grabbed a lift from a passing saling. Isaan people never walk when something with wheels is available. Gaun rides either the motorbike or a bicycle to mama’s house and it is less than 100 metres from us 🙂

The concept of the disciplined and orderly walk back to school seems to have broken down. This photo taken from the family home as a gaggle of kids (is that a formal description?) passed us by.

These ceremonies are 95% female attendees. Gaun tells me that the ladies build up more merit points, which is why Isaan men die younger 🙂
Lud was home based preparing more garlic for planting at the farm. Poor Lud had an accident climbing a tree to get some coconuts and got very bad rope burn on his hand and arm. Being the busy time for preparing fields and planting vegetables Yuan was less than impressed and told him he should have had the rope around his neck 🙂 Husband and wife relationships are universal! She does love him really. With everyone in formal gear, which is very unusual, photos were required to be taken to record the moment. In this case in our tropical garden.

I knew the boat would come in useful! Gaun has just added new plants to the ‘sea’ that will grow underneath the boat. Give it a couple of months and it will look as though it is floating in flowers and plants.

Gaun wanders around hanging out the ‘takeaway’ parcels while at the same time calling out the names of relatives.
How lucky am I to be in the situation where I can enjoy a morning like the one I have shared with you? It was a combination of being involved and being accepted by both family and community and that’s pretty special. I hope the spirits have been well fed and are looking kindly on their earthly based relatives.
Thanks for reading. As always please leave a comment to let me know you were here and enjoyed (I hope) the story. It’s the only payment I ask for a resource I fund myself. How many blogs do you see with popups and commercial advertisements? Not here.
Tony
Hi Tony
I am lucky to have experienced such occasions in Thailand which you elegantly described in your post.
An hours drive south of Perth WA, is a Thai Temple (Bodhinyana Monastery) set in the countryside where I visit to make merit too. The whole precess of making an offering of food to the monks, pouring the water into a vessel whilst the monks chant, then pouring the water from the vessel at the base of a tree or shrub in the gardens surrounding the Temple is so relaxing and provides in my opinion a perfect opportunity to make merit and connect with past and present family members. Following this, all gathered enjoy a communal meal together and as is usual in Thai culture there is enough food prepared to feed an army, a truly enjoyable event where old and new friendships are kindled :-).
Thank you Tony for your efforts to put together this post, it is most appreciated.
Best wishes to all.
Kind regards
Chris
Perth WA
Nice comment Chris. Gaun and I met a monk in the backwoods of Chiang Rai countryside in 2013, living in a mini-wat on his own. When he heard I was from Australia he told me (Gaun) that he had been to the Perth temple a couple of times. Who would have thought!
Tony
It is the simple things in life that can bring us the most joy
Steve,
Good morning Tony and Greetings from Ban Phe. I have to tell you, your posts always ‘make my day’! Your lovely homestead and gardens are testimony to your vivid imaginations and the resulting peaceful beauty, born of your’s and Gaun’s loving ideas and work, is spectacular.
I further enjoy the contrast of expat life in Thailand in Issan, as described and shown by you, compared to our variety, down here on the coast, in Rayong province. Not that one is better or worse than the other, just that there is a fascinating difference. The rural life style you capture so convincingly in your words and pictures is an inspiration to us down here in touristy and sometimes frenetic beach country.
As much as I enjoy our coastal experience, my lovely wife Suwapat and I often seek out the slow rythm and laid back cadence of village life. We frequently spend time in the easy hill country just north of here. We often visit Sue’s siblings and old friends around her birth place and still their family home villages north of the Town of Klaeng. This allows us happy, albeit temporary, refreshments of the quieter beauty of South East Asian nature and to un-hurried village life – more in tune with the lush nature surrounding it. Some of her family work the land, via rubber trees, bananas, all manner of vegetables, etc. – thus enabling us to at least touch the soil from which we all came long ago. All the more reason to peruse your so thoroughly enjoyable words and pictures about your “neck of the woods” – certainly the planted fields on your family’s farms along with all the surrounding flora and your obvious close connection to the earth under your feet.
On a positive note, there also are some neat benefits to our location. An expanding circle of congenial expat friends, for instance – from all corners of the globe and their, usually but not always, Thai wives and ‘significant other’ Ladies. Good people, fun to be with, socialize with, swap life’s little stories with, comiserate with when appropriate, visit each other’s homes, break bread – both Thai cuisine and Western style (in some remarkably good, but still reasonably priced, restaurants not far away). We sometimes toast to having ‘found’ our own little multi cultural ‘village’ – non-prejudicial, tolerant to most and wide open to the good things in life, especially now, in our so-called ‘later years’.
Beyond that, there is the occasional sojourn to the ‘City of Angels’ for a taste of cosmopolitan life – I never quite lost the desire for feeling the big city pulse once in a while. Happily, it is just as satisfying in small doses these days. One is, after all, no longer the youngest branch on the tree…….
Top it all off with modern day easy communications with friends and family on the other side of the planet, along with the seemingly endless and always available for the push of a button, offerings of ‘good’ music (…mostly classical, in my case) on the Internet – one is tempted to laudly proclaim ‘This is as good as it gets!’
Well, this comment turned out longer than I had planned. Perhaps, I felt the need to take stock……….
Again, Thanks and keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Hans
Hello Hans.
I must say that one of the pleasures of the blog is getting comments like yours (Jim Busby is excellent too) that almost turn into a mini blog post of their own. I find myself enjoying the read of you enjoying the read if you see what I mean. You sound like a man in the right place at the right time with the right people surrounding him. That’s an achievement very few people ever achieve in a lifetime and you are blessed as a result. I feel the same and I know that shines through in the stories I tell about my life here. Every day is a shake my head day at how lucky I am. I hope I never lose that wonderment.
We have a far less social time of it here with few farang of the type one would like to spend time with. I have a small circle of people we meet on an irregular basis and that seems to fulfill my requirement for mixing with expats. I have always been pretty self contained and find that my Thai family’s inclusion of me in their lives and virtual conversations like this one are enough to keep me engaged and connected with life. Gaun is a constant delight and although we tend to split in different directions late morning, with her in the garden and me more computer oriented or doing my own tasks, there is no sense of separateness. We often look at each other and say “Let’s have a holiday” and we take off for a drive like the one we did yesterday that I am about to write about (keep an eye out for that as it has some great photos).
A joy to hear from you Hans as always. I wish I was closer and could join your ever increasing ‘circle of congenial expat friends’.
Very kind regards.
Tony
Hi Tony, Sue and I are considering the week of 14 to 20 October to go north for another look-see. Could you email me seperately to explore possibly getting together? Thanks.
Cheers,
Hans
Funny how Buddhism, Evangelism, and Capitalism form a weird sort of triangle. All religions seem to offer you a better opportunity in the afterlife with the right amount of donations made while still living. We put flowers on our relatives graves, and sometimes have a chat with them in some ethereal way. The Thais, do it one better and bring out the food. My slower spirits would probably not be too happy that ants were eating whatever food offerings I brought. It’s becoming more common in many societies that the more educated people become, the less inclined they are to accept religion as being real. On the other hand, people who have little money, or education, are the ones who more strongly believe that life after death offers them the eutopia that the materialistic wealthy have obtained here on earth..only much better. The kids are adorable, and those are some great shots. Yuan’s lovingly humorous, but stinging reply to Lud’s mishap, is, as you say, universal to all relationships around the world.
Nice bromeliads you picked up for the garden Neoregelia “Betty Head” I believe & Aechmea spp.
Great post as always,
Jim
Nice to have you back Jim.
A belief system used to be one of the foundations to a society along with respect for a raft of people including politicians, policemen, doctors, teachers etc etc. All replaced by not much or the religion for the accumulation of stuff. I know that the icons of our past have let us down in so many ways but without that balancing factor it has all got out of sync and quite weird as a result. On a related subject I must ask Gaun if she could provide a few farang dishes when I move on! Some toast, bacon and eggs, if an early morning feed or maybe a hamburger if later in the day.
Thank you for the ‘Betty Head’ heads up! I am useless at the names. I saw some small plastic signs for sale in a garden centre and will buy some so I can place them next to the plants identified by my readers.
Cheers Jim.
Keep it up Tony. You’re getting younger every day!
C
Tony thanks again for the lovely photos….peaceful & happy….you certainly are blessed….but it makes me want to tell you……there are two sides to every coin.
Last week I had a doctors appointment….I have Osteoarthritis….a pinched nerve in lower back & swollen feet & ankles.
As I was going into our 7/11 (right across from Chiang Mai train station) there was a very grubby looking man about 50yrs.or so sitting on the steps filling up a bottle of water with green drink.
His legs were swollen discolored & bandaged…however one bandage had slipped down & you could see the red raw flesh with a deep hole into his leg…….tears came to my eyes as I saw in my minds eye all the bright gaudy costly Wats that are everywhere….& my heart went went out to him….there was I on my way to a doctor for my trivial problems & this man should be in hospital being taken cared for…..I told my doctor & she said….that`s the way it is…..then I see your story & think…yes…the dead get more attention than the living…..really saddening…..will there ever be any balance ?
What can I say.
Nothing.
Tom